Feeling like a late bloomer when it comes to sex? There’s hope

Does lack of experience mean you’re sexually doomed? Is everyone else at a competitive advantage?

When it comes to sexual inexperience, the bigger obstacle is usually self-doubt, not the absence of experience itself, McNichols said. “Worrying about how you measure up can take you out of the moment so that you leave your body and get stuck in your head. But that reaction is about anxiety more than anything. It has nothing to do with lacking some superpower.”

In fact, people who come to sex later in life often bring real strengths to the table, including emotional maturity, a clearer sense of their own values and a better understanding of what they actually want from a partner, Needle said. Those qualities tend to shape a satisfying sexual relationship far more than a headstart ever would. The only real disadvantage comes from believing you’re at a disadvantage.”

Having sex later than the average age isn’t a negative, Dillon said. “Savoring the process of becoming a sexual being — and the anticipation of becoming sexually active — may ultimately lead to a deeper appreciation of the pleasures of sex when it begins.”