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“If you’re reading this, then I ran out of time, Simone.”
Your mother contacted me six months after she left. She said she wasn’t ready to come home, but she wanted to finish school. I thought that if I had a degree and a stable life, I could come back ready to be your mother.
She didn’t do it.
I stopped reading.
“I ran out of time, Simone.”
My throat tightened.
Did Mr. Lewis push a glass of water towards me?
I ignored it.
“Years later, I asked her if she wanted me during school breaks. She declined. I asked about regular visits. She said her life was too hectic.”
When she remarried, she accepted a court order that gave me sole custody.”
My throat tightened.
“Sometimes he would send cards, but he never asked to speak to you.”
I told myself I was protecting your heart. Maybe I was protecting mine too. I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing you beg someone to choose you.
You had the right to know when you were old enough.
I kept waiting for the right day. Schedules and calendars
Then I ran out of days.”
I lowered the letter.
“I was protecting mine too.”
Dad had lied and decided what he could handle. Didn’t Mr. Lewis defend him?
The remaining documents confirmed that Mom had agreed to a court order giving Dad sole custody and had rejected the visitation schedule Dad requested.
No one had forced her to move away.
She had chosen distance. Dad had chosen silence. They had both decided what I could live without.
I picked up the photograph.
A name was written under Mom’s daughter.
Didn’t Mr. Lewis defend him?
“I’m contacting her.”
Mr. Lewis stood up. “Are you sure?”
“No”.
It was the first honest answer I gave all day. Schedules and calendars
I found Mom’s daughter online that night. Her page was full of birthdays, school events, and trips to the beach. Mom was in almost every picture.